The truth is, men, much like their female counterparts, harbor a myriad of relationship needs that extend beyond the surface. Whether you're navigating a straight or gay relationship, the yearnings of your boyfriend or husband are often a complex interplay of desires that cannot be distilled into a single point. It’s essential to recognize that each man's needs are unique; there’s no one size fits all approach when it comes to understanding what he truly desires from a partner. What can be said is– men are easy to understand, it's women who make it hard.

If you’re already in a committed relationship

Gaining insight into what your partner yearns for can significantly enhance the bond you share. Understanding his needs, wants, and expectations doesn’t just facilitate better communication; it fosters intimacy and connection, paving the way for a more fulfilling partnership. By actively engaging in discussions about emotional and relational needs, you create a safe space for both of you to explore your desires openly. This understanding is a two way street, as men are often just as eager to hear about their partner's needs in return. Does that make sense? Absolutely! As you embark on this journey of discovery, keep in mind that I've compiled a list of twelve common desires men have in relationships.

Take this list seriously, but don’t view it as an absolute rulebook—each guy will have his own unique set of preferences. By gauging how much importance your man places on these various aspects, you can tailor your approach to meet his priorities and deepen your connection. Moreover, it's worth noting that some of these desires may resonate with women too, reflecting a shared human experience in relationships. As you dive into this exploration, remember that understanding and addressing these needs not only benefits your partner but ultimately enriches your relationship as a whole. So, let’s explore these twelve relationship needs together and strengthen that bond!

1. We simply want Acceptance for who they are.

A stereotype aimed at women is that they want to change the man they are in a relationship with. They want to mold them into their perfect idea of a boyfriend or husband. To all the women doing this–Stop your bullshit! Men don’t want to be changed or controlled. It makes them feel as though who they are right now isn't  good enough. They might feel unworthy of being loved because of you doing this. It's ridiculous for women to hook up with men they want to change. You should just hook up with men- that have the qualities your looking for. This will ensure you're happy with your relationship choice.

disclaimer: This does not apply to all women, or even most women in truth. But it is something that all men are wary of...What men want is acceptance! Acceptance for who they  are right now, in this very moment- flaws and all.

People do things in different ways. People behave in different ways. The Truth is, men and women are typically more different to each other than they are to members of the same gender. Many men feel more accepted by other men than they do by women, even those women they are in relationships with. Men can be in love with you, and in a relationship— and still feel unaccepted by you. when it comes to black men and men in general things are not much different. They women to accept them for who they are. No one wants to have to shape shift for you. They want love, marriage, and a horse and carriage too ... But not at the cost of having to change who they are, simply to benefit you. That's like saying, "The man you are right now—will never match up to the fantasy man you built for yourself."

Your demand to change men hurts them, rather then heal them. You should Of course compromise within your relationships, because thats the foundation of a healthy relationship. – if a man’s behavior is upsetting or it harms you, he should make an effort to change that behavior within reason. But, if you want to make your man feel content in your connection, show him that you accept him for who he is. That's what real love and understanding looks like.

2. Peace and harmony.

Another stereotype people have put on women is-that they create more drama than men. This shit is not true on any average, because there are certainly plenty of men who fuel drama in their lives and relationships, but men would be lying if they didn't say that they do believe women are dramafied as hell! it’s something that many men believe, and they are wary of it! A man's p.o.v on this topic, will probably never change.

Men tend to like an easy life. Part of that is a life of minimal drama. Men want a relationship to be harmonious. Guys want a relaxed atmosphere and an easy-going attitude. Facts!

What your man don’t want- is regular arguments, fights, or your random nit-picking. A guy can't stand a  nagging ass woman. They don’t like to be accused of things they have or haven’t done. Men don’t like things to be blown out of proportion, or mistakenly took wrong.

No one is saying that all women do these things. Or there's not men that do them. We’re simply trying to provide a general view of how many men see shit, so if your getting offended along the way- it sounds like a fucking personal problem to me.

3. Some space and independence.

Most men need more time and space alone or socializing with their friends than women do. Again, this is a generalization, but one that is closer to the truth than most others. This is at least 90% true for most men, so you can take this as Gospel!

This is the reason why it is often said that men need ‘cave time.’ Maybe they are less able to cope with the constant pressures and demands a relationship can put on them. Or just maybe- Perhaps they just need time and space to do stereotypically male shit!

**Where children are involved, many men simply struggle to be as active and hands-on with their kids as women are, but things are changing. Men have been going viral for being #girldads**.

Space doesn’t only refer to physical distance

but also to digital communication too. There will be times when a man feels unwilling to have a constant back and forth over text message because even that is an intrusion into his little manly haven from life. That doesn't mean he's cheating because you're not getting all of his attention.

There's nothing wrong with you demanding quality  time and attention from your boyfriend or husband, but your relationship might go a little smoother if you give him some time and space to himself on a regular basis. (Js)

If you really value time together as a couple, then make room for space and separation. Because there's no way a man will be spend all his time with you. it’s important that you find a man who doesn’t fit the stereotype and who has quality time as a love language too. Pick the right man for you!

4. Regular sex and for you to initiate it sometimes 

On average, men have higher sex drives than women. Whether that’s because of hormones or simply a legacy of evolution, men like to have sex on quite a regular basis. We love to fuck! Get use to it!

This can create a challenging dynamic in a relationship whereby the woman feels pressured for sex by her man, and the man feels like his sexual needs and desires are not being met by his woman. So don't fucken wonder why he's out there cheating if your not doing the pleasing. Start learning How to please a black man in the bedroom

This is an area where sensitive compromises need to be made. No one should be made to feel like they have to have sex more often than they are comfortable with. But it might be the case that having sex more often than you would personally choose to is still within your comfort levels. In which case, your man is likely to appreciate the additional sexual contact a great deal.

**Another stereotype but is most definitely, true is that men are more likely to be the ones to initiate sex in a relationship. But hint-hint ladies nearly all men find it a huge turn on when you're the one to initiate some good fuckery.**

It makes us feel sexually attractive. It communicates to us that you really enjoy the sex you have with us, which makes us feel more confident about our performance in bed (a worry that affects many men).

5. For you to tell us what the fuck you want.

Nobody can read minds, as helpful as that would be. So when it comes to relationships, it helps to be clear and open with what you want from men! Simplify that shit for them.

Men tend to be terrible at reading between the lines of your request.

They're not ignoring you, but that shit is like speaking a whole nother language to us. Guys are not great at understanding body language or tone of voice. Until you get to yelling at them, and by then they're like, " what the fuck!" Men prefer for you to be bold and blunt. We like it  told to us  straight what it is that is being asked of us.

Many men are very literal in their understanding of requests

which means that you might have to ask them to do the same thing on different occasions, even when it seems clear to you that you’d like them to be responsible for that thing at all times. This is sad, but true. So don't get mad at us. It's really how we're wired.

Maybe you’d like them to be the one who cleans the dishes, and you’d like it to be done every two weeks minimum. Being told that explicitly is a man’s preferred way to communicate. This shit is language!! This kind of talk is what we understand! 

Your partner don't understand, "babe will you do the dishes today?" But then you ask the same thing again next Tuesday or when you get tired of doing them. Just say,, "get your ass up and do the damn dishes every Tuesday!"

Ambiguity of message will be met with inconsistency in behavior. Clarity of message will be more likely to be met with consistency in behavior. We're like fucking robots when it comes to inputting codes and languages we can understand.

If a man offers to do something for you, be clear with a yes or no answer. Avoid saying things like “If you want…” or “It’s up to you.” they hate that shit, and it confuses them.

And while it may seem as though men like to have things their own way most of the time, we love  it when you provide your input on decisions that have to be made. So don’t leave it up to them to choose a restaurant or movie – state your preference if you have one. Remember, men like to please their partners too! We'll go along with your bullshit if it makes you happy.

In fact, if you always allow a guy to make decisions for  both of us, because you think it will make us happy, we may begin to resent you for it. We don't want the pressure of trying to choose something that will keep you happy too. We'd much prefer it if you spoke up and said what the fuck you want in any given situation.

6. Traditional gender roles.

Men may not always say so, but many men still see traditional gender roles as an effective way to live as a couple. While more women work than ever before, it’s still common for a woman to take on a greater share of the household chores and childcare duties.

Whether this is how things should  be is something you’ll have your own point of view on, and it can affect how your relationships dynamics pan out. If you are in favor of a more equal split of responsibilities that are traditionally seen as the wife’s or girlfriend’s role, you’ll want to be sure the guy is on the same page... But real men are traditional. Only these little boys are in favor of a woman doing everything.

7. To feel appreciated.

It’s not only women who can feel taken for granted by their partner. Men do too! When a man does something – whether you’ve agreed that it’s his responsibility or he does it spontaneously – he’d like some recognition for it sometimes.

Even if you take on more of the workload in the home, it’s still nice to show your appreciation for the things he does. Of course this should go both ways – he should recognize the effort you put in too. It's just important for women to know guys need that type of love just like you do.

If he works longer hours than you (especially once a long commute is taken into account), be grateful that he’s hard working... You could be with one of those little boys who play with their playstation all day and smoke weed. Be grateful if you got you a grown ass man, even if you got to chew him out every now-and-again. Your partner wants to be treated special. Get him naked and give him oral because you appreciate him. Take a class Teaching you how to eat ass like a pro! Men like their ass ate sometimes. Your not the only one who likes something ate, So your boyfriend would appreciate a little more thoughtfulness.

If he takes the kids out for a few hours one sunday morning because he can see you’re stressed by something else, make it clear that you see his gesture and are thankful for it.

Buy him a little gift once in a while just to say thank you. Give them a massage if they've had a particularly hard day. Do all the little things you like men to do for you, for them. even if they’re not always great at doing them...

Strive for a balanced relationship and make sure you both feel appreciated. That’s a key ingredient to a long-lasting relationship..

8. Your understanding when we make mistakes go a long way.

Falling back on the stereotypes again, men tend to be less emotionally intelligent than women. This means they are more likely to put our foot in our mouth, and do a whole bunch of shit that pisses you off or upset you. 

This leaves them prone to facing the  wrath of the she-devil, or having to deal with your emotional reaction to the mistakes we make. Even then we may not be sure how best to deal with the repercussions of our actions and can often make things worse, not better.

 you shouldn’t have to tolerate repeated poor treatment, most men will be hugely grateful for a bit of understanding when it comes to their behavior. They don’t act with malice most of the time. They actually feel guilty for hurting you. So to receive your understanding, and even your forgiveness means a lot to men. They're terrible at emotionally expressing things the way you prefer- but that doesn't mean they don't feel it the way you do- men just don't know how to express it.

9. To be silly! we just want to be fucking goofy sometimes 

 men tend to be less mature than women in many ways. Not only in the emotional sense as discussed above but also in our general behavior. They do silly things and we enjoy doing them.

We want to be in a relationship with a partner who allows us to be silly sometimes

 They don’t want to be serious all the time, and only deal with the important things in life. Men want to let loose and have a bit of fun doing juvenile things at times. It's apart of who we are and how we deal with every day life.

If you scold us just being us- you are invalidating our feelings. You are telling us that we should behave more appropriately for our age and that you don’t find our behavior funny. The truth is the kid in us never leaves unless there's something broken inside of us.

This links back in with the first point about acceptance – guys want to feel that they can be themselves and do things like pulling pranks or telling childish jokes without facing ridicule... Or be looked at stupid.

10. A safe space in which to be vulnerable..

Men often find it easier to open up to women than to other men. They don’t have to show the same bravado around women, and can be more honest about how they really feel. And this is an important thing for a man to have in a relationship.

 He needs to feel that it is okay to be vulnerable, and show his feelings without being made to feel weak or awkward. Just like anyone else, men want to be heard, and to have someone show them compassion when when they are having a hard time.

Without this safe space, your man will bottle up his feelings. This will have a negative impact at a later date when those feelings either explode out in an uncontrolled manner or manifest in some other way.

By providing a considerate ear to listen to your man, you will improve your communication and reap the benefits of a closer relationship.

11. Your belief in us! 

Most people doubt themselves a little bit, men included. And so it makes a huge difference to your confidence when someone else believes in you.

When you tell and show men how much you believe in them– when they attempt any sort of goal, you are affirming their worth and abilities. That can make all the difference in whether or not a man succeeds at that goal there's nothing like having your partner in your corner rooting for you.

regardless of the damn outcome of the goal, when guys knows you believe in them, it makes them feel valued and trusted. It will boost their self-esteem and help motivate them to keep going when obstacles cross their path! Just knowing you're there in their corner goes further then you could ever imagine.

12. Your respect means the most!

Let’s be clear on one thing: respect needs to go both ways in any relationship!! A relationship without it- is doomed to end.

Respect is demonstrated in so many different ways, and many of which we’ve touched upon in this article. In general, it means treating each other well and being thankful for what you each bring to the relationship.

When a man feels respected by you, he will raise his game and seek to grow as a person. Respect is fuel for self-worth and makes men want to be a better partner or father or member of society.

It feels good to be respected and it encourages respect to be shown back. Respect is essential to a healthy relationship and men know this, and so do women.

Men Want Meaningful Relationships Too

The key takeaway here is that Black men, Latin men, White men, and all men, regardless of background, want meaningful relationships. They desire the same emotional depth and connection that women do; however, men are often misunderstood. Sometimes, it’s about perception—perhaps you’re choosing to engage with individuals who are still immature, “little boys” rather than grown ass men, and then grouping all men into the same category.

 The truth is, men are not all the same. Many of them value love, respect, and commitment just as much as women do. The challenge is breaking down those misunderstandings and seeing them for who they truly are—partners who want to build something real and lasting.

You have now been given the ultimate guide into knowing about what  men really want. I broke it down to you plain and simple. My bet is everything I said is 90% true for most men. This is true for Gay men and Straight men alike. No man is exempt! So if you got a man now you understand him more, if you don't have a man—this guide will help you keep him, once you get one. Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comment box at the bottom and rate this article by using the star system.

Related Topics: Things That men want in relationships

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